Few are the people who could be counted among those who have had a childhood without trials and limitations, since all the people during childhood, to a greater or lesser degree, in one form or another, have had pleasant and unpleasant experiences, unmet needs or unfinished issues that if we do not face them and resolve them, they will accompany us throughout our lives, most often affecting our self-esteem and therefore our relationships with others.
These painful experiences have been called wounds and most often are the result of experiences lived with parents or other significant adults.
Here there are:
Rejection wound – The Runner
The adult who has this injury experienced rejection experiences in their childhood and will tend to reject himself and others, will also reject pleasurable and successful experiences because of the deep feeling of inner emptiness and to have the mistaken belief of being “little deserving.” He blames others for being rejected and without being aware, it is he who isolates himself thus creating his vicious circle.
Its main conduct is that of fleeing. It tends to run away from unpleasant situations. He is not very supportive of socializing and tends to abandon what he starts. It does not cling to things or people. He considers his relationships and his money useful even if they do not give him pleasure.
I’m good for nothing, what I say does not matter to anyone, I do not know why I participate, I have no ability to do this, I am bad for this, nobody listens to me ... These are the types of thoughts they have and the way to express themselves facing a difficulty.
It requires working out the situations that caused them panic, all internal fears.
It affects the person at the level of the SELF.
Abandonment wound – The Dependent
Loneliness becomes the worst fear of those who were abandoned in childhood. And his wound becomes his paradox: “Those who lived in abandonment will tend to abandon projects and partners, until they become aware of their deficiency and become responsible for their life and their loneliness. And think: I leave you, before you leave me. ”
Their main behavior is that of a dependent. His greatest fear is loneliness and he cannot bear to be alone with himself; in the end he ends up being alone. He is withdrawn, does not like contact with others. He generates real drama in the face of a minimal situation of no importance. He asks and seeks the support of others in conflicts.
I cannot bear it anymore, nobody supports me in this, nobody helps me, I prefer to be alone, you will see what you do, if you leave do not return …, is their way of communicating facing a problem.
It requires working out their most intense fears, the fear of loneliness and their rejection of physical contact.
It affects the to HAVE and to DO.
Humiliation wound – The Masochist
Adults who have experienced all kinds of abuse, including sexual abuse, or have experienced humiliation, comparisons, or have been ridiculed, ashamed of their physical appearance, attitudes, and / or behavior during childhood, often carry that burden and most of the time they are insecure, timid and indecisive beings who in the depths of their being feel guilty and do not believe they have elementary rights, and may even doubt their right to exist.
Their main behavior is that of a dependent. He is proud, rigid and masochistic, generating some pleasure in suffering. It needs to be tied to other people and to bear the problems of others.
I do not deserve it, I am not worthy, I am very little for this, it does not matter ... there are some sentences that he usually uses to express himself
It requires working on dependency, freedom and detachment. It is what they want most and at the same time what they fear the most.
Betrayal wound – The Dominator
The adult with a betrayal injury will be mistrusting, as he cannot allow to trust anything or anyone. His biggest fear is lying and he will unconsciously seek to become involved in situations where he will hopelessly be betrayed. Fulfilling the prophecy, he himself decreed: “Do not trust anyone, everyone betrays.” Most of those who experience celotypy (jealousy) have had experiences of betrayal in their childhood.
The main behavior is that of a controller. He likes to have control over others to avoid being betrayed. His character is strong to justify his ability to control and likes to manage groups. The controller’s biggest fears are disassociating himself and separating or losing his partner.
It usually confirms their main fears by causing them to occur.
Let me finish, I haven’t finished talking yet, do you understand me, right ?, trust me, let me do it alone, I know how to do it right, this is exactly what I want, exactly what you have to do, you have what you deserve, is the common form of communication of the controller.
It requires working their patience, their tolerance and living the present moment. Learning to be alone and to delegate responsibilities effectively and confidently are their main challenges.
Injustice wound – The Rigid
Experiencing inequity is the worst upset of those who have the wound of injustice, and it is possible to identify those who have lived through it in their childhood by observing disproportionate and neurotic reactions to an unfair situation. All people at some point in time have lived or witnessed unfair situations, however those who have the wound are unable to deal with it and their reactions tend to be self-destructive. One of the most important characteristics is their great fear of being wrong and their tendency to seek perfection, which brings them much frustration and their great challenge to heal is to seek flexibility and humility.
His main behavior is stiffness. They try to be very important and project strength and power. Fanatic with order and perfectionist behavior, they only trust themselves and have trouble taking action. He likes to give orders and direct others.
That’s exactly what I want, exactly what you should do, I think it’s fair, you agree with me … it’s the most common way of communicating.
It requires working their mistrust and mental rigidity. Building flexibility and trust towards others is their biggest challenge.
These are 5 of the wounds that can prevent you from evolving at a soul level and make life more difficult in your relationships with others. If you already started having a spiritual practice (yoga, mediation, etc) you may already know that a healthy spiritual life involves having a solid and strong base one built on self respect and self love (need to be redefined for some people), if there still wounding as described above it will be more difficult to evolve and persevere in your life and spiritual practice as you will experience blocks that will limit your growth and challenge you until you take the time to face and heal them.
Many blessings,
Isabela
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Biography: BioNeuroEmotion with Enric Corbera
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Thank you. I found this very empowering.